**I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/returningdarkness** **Originally posted to r/AITAH** **Previous BoRUs:...
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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2026-01-01 05:02:07+00:00.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/returningdarkness

Originally posted to r/AITAH

Previous BoRUs: #1, #2, #3

[New Updates]: AITAH for wanting nothing to do with my kids and ex-wife after 2 years of false allegations?

NEW UPDATES MARKED WITH ----

Editor’s note: removed older relevant comments for space in this latest BoRU

Trigger Warnings: mentions of rape, possible sexual abuse of minors, accusations of abuse, mental health struggles, financial insecurity

Mood Spoilers: bittersweet

RECAP

Original Post: June 28, 2025

Hold on because this is a doozy. I’m going to omit some details to help keep myself from getting doxxed about this whole thing.

Last year my kids (9F and 7M) ran away late at night/early in the morning. When found by some city officials, they claimed I kicked them out of the house. I woke up the morning of to the cops and CPS knocking on the door. I told my side of the story from what I knew and they had my (now ex) wife tell her side while keeping us separated. The cops claim our stories don’t match and end up arresting me. I bail myself out that same day and go live with my parents for a while. I’m dealing with court, scared that I’m going back to jail or prison and that I’ll lose my job that I had only been at for a year.

A little over a month goes by and I get a phone call to have a meeting with the CPS woman in charge of our case. My daughter ended up making more allegations against me that did not make any sense to the CPS people and when they asked her questions, she was unable to give them answers. My son ended up breaking first and admitting the whole thing was made up and that my daughter was the one to orchestrate everything.

This reveal led to the charges being dropped and my daughter getting counselling and psychiatric help. For a while I thought things were good. We were on our way to fix things. I kept trying to get all of us into therapy, both individually and family. I was already in therapy due to this whole situation anyway. My ex kept dragging her feet and it never went anywhere.

After some other situations with being displaced due to a natural disaster and me trying to get things packed up in our old apartment, I get told by my ex she wants a divorce so now I’m having to rush and try to find a place to live, which I did luckily. I actually move in tomorrow.

On the 14th of June I get served an Emergency Protection Order by the county sheriff’s office. I’m told it’s because I allegedly hit my son and gave him a concussion while in the grocery store… where there are cameras. He had been taken to the emergency room by my ex on the 14th but this event allegedly happened on the 10th.

I had told my ex that due to me having to get this house to rent, along with utilities in my name, adding up to over $2,000 that I wasn’t going to be able to pay certain bills this month but that I’ll get them caught up as soon as I can to get everything paid off and even. I signed for the deposit on the 11th and the kids had been with her while I did this paperwork and there was no issue. On the same morning I had taken my kids to the park so they could play and recorded videos of them being silly and having fun.

I was talking to my therapist this week and I told her what was going on and how I felt about being around my ex or the children. It’s two years in a row of false allegations. I want nothing to do with any of them now. I’ll pay child support gladly, I had an agreement with my ex before this all happened of paying $1,000 a month, $500 per paycheck, for child support.

After all of this, AITAH for not wanting to be around the children and my ex after everything gets settled and found out to be lies again??

Additional Information from OOP: June 29, 2025 (next day)

OOP: I posted this before I clocked in at work so let me give some more details. My ex wife and I were still together when the kids ran away last year. My side of the story during that was that I came home from work, talked with the kids and wife, gave the kids their melatonin gummies before sending them to bed, after which i took a shower before making me something for dinner and cleaning up afterwards. By this Point my ex was asleep already, and so were the kids.

When CPS and the mental health professionals were talking to my daughter after everything got cleared, she was saying the voices she was hearing were telling her to do things. The mental health professionals said this sounded too rehearsed to them. It later got revealed that she was watching videos on youtube about kids pranking their parents and she wanted to try it out herself. She had access to youtube due to tablets that my MIL had given the kids for Christmas back in 2023, which I disagreed with but i was ignored. At the time, and to this day, I do not believe my ex had a hand in the running away situation.

Onto this year, my son went to the ER on the 14th because he had, and i quote from the paperwork I was given, dizziness, lightheaded feeling, and a nosebleed. I am not sure how he received a concussion. Nothing is finished with this situation yet and nothing has been decided in terms of child support. We go back to court next month to revisit this after the investigation has finished. On the day i received the EPO I talked to a state trooper and told him the kids history, showed the videos of my kids playing, and showed receipts on my banking app from when we were at walmart and at what time we were there. As of right now I haven’t heard anything else. I have already been interviewed by CPS and informed them of the same things I told the state trooper because it is a different person on this case as my ex and kids live in a different county at the moment.

This time i firmly believe that my ex is behind this due to my telling her some of the bills would have to wait because i’m having to pay approximately $2,500 to move, put down deposits and pay first and last month rent. I haven’t seen my kids since i dropped them off to my grandparents on the afternoon of the 11th.

I have not made a decision about staying away from my kids, but I do plan on talking to a lawyer in the next couple of days and I’m looking into security for my house and a discreet body camera to wear like many other users have said. I’ll try to answer any other questions that I can but I move tomorrow and I have some last minute things to pack up and place in my car and move downstairs.

Thank you for all of your insights and words and thoughts and prayers, it means a whole lot to me that I can’t put into words.

Update #1: July 24, 2025 (almost one month later)

Update: AITAH for wanting nothing to do with my kids and ex-wife after 2 years of false allegations?

So I have an update, along with answering some questions better from my previous post. When I first posted this I was not in a good headspace and I realize that I wasn’t very clear. To be honest I’m still not in a good headspace, but it’s a little bit better.

For starters, these false allegations started last year when my kids were 9 and 7. When I said two years I meant calendar years. When I said I spoke to the police about my side of the story last year, I meant what happened the night before the police and CPS showed up at the front door. I had gotten home, spent some time with the kids and my ex (then wife) before giving the kids their melatonin gummies (this was done on an as needed basis, mainly 2 to 3 times a week at most). After that I went and took a shower, made myself some dinner, then ate and cleaned up the kitchen before spending more time with my then wife before we both went to bed. Due to a contraction happening when she was being given the epidural, she sleeps better propped up so she slept on the couch while myself and the kids slept upstairs. The next morning is when I woke up to the cops at the door with CPS.

I was charged with child abandonment and arrested. It took over a month for the truth to come out about my kids making this up due to the fact my daughter was saying I was having sex with her. The CPS agent conducting the investigation tried to ask more details and that’s when my daughter started crying and admitted she made it up because she couldn’t give details. The only reason my daughter even knew what sex was is because my ex and I were in the bedroom and we both thought the other locked the door and my daughter walked in on us.

Moving to now, I don’t know how my son got this supposed concussion. We had court again on Monday, the 21st, and when the judge asked her she told him that “After talking with the state trooper we have decided to not press criminal charges.” I asked the judge if there was any evidence that they had about what they’re claiming I did and he told me that since no charges were filed, there’s no evidence gathered to give to me.

I want to thank everyone for their answers on my last post. Thinking about those feelings was making me sick to my stomach and I…

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1q0w87u/new_updates_aitah_for_wanting_nothing_to_do_with/

  • @[email protected]MEnglish
    1•1 month ago

    I want to thank everyone for their answers on my last post. Thinking about those feelings was making me sick to my stomach and I just needed some perspectives from people who weren’t emotionally involved. I thought about this since last month and I made the decision to tell the judge I want the divorce process and this EPO to be over and done with and that I just want to be left alone. I’m still questioning if this was the right decision or not.

    I’m just not sure what else I could do. I work 12 hour days 5 to 6 days a week. I have no way to take care of the kids so I can’t take them in. Even then, am I supposed to get to the point where the court system says supervised visits aren’t needed anymore and just start wearing a body camera around the kids and just be scared all the time? Looking over my shoulder constantly just to make sure that I’m not going to end up in jail again?

    We have a hearing set up for December to hopefully get everything finalized and finished.

    I keep thinking about the kids going trick or treating in 3 months, going back to school next month, how we won’t be decorating Christmas trees together or making cookies for Santa and I start crying all over again. I’m not sure what else I could have done though that wouldn’t have made me a paranoid mess 24/7.

    This will be the last update until December or January I guess. Thank you again for everyone saying I wasn’t an asshole for feeling this way. Have a good one, Reddit.

    Update #2: August 1, 2025 (eight days later)

    Update #2: AITAH for wanting nothing to do with my kids and ex-wife after 2 years of false allegations?

    So this is a really small update that I wasn’t expecting to make. I had left a voice mail for the CPS agent assigned to the current situation with my son asking for an update on everything because I haven’t heard anything since June.

    She had to look in her case notes but everything has been found to be unsubstantiated. I should be getting the official paperwork in a few days to a week in the mail.

    I’m not sure how to feel about this, honestly. I’m relieved that the truth has come out about these allegations, angry that this has happened to me twice now, happy that this is one step closer to being finished. I want to cry but I couldn’t tell you the specific emotion that’s causing it.

    I’m taking some other redditors words to heart and putting in a request to my state police records department to get copies of any and all paperwork, evidence or lack thereof, anything I can get my hands on from them. I’m also getting copies of my son’s medical records so I can see exactly what was found back in June.

    I know a lot of you don’t believe this and I don’t care. I have nothing to gain from lying about this. I’ll gladly post pictures of the paperwork from CPS when it comes in, with all private information redacted of course to protect myself and my children. I know some of the details don’t make sense between the og post and the update, but like I saw one person mention in r/BestofRedditorUpdates (which I love to read posts from and didn’t expect my own to end up there) I’m just going on survival mode. I only just got a full sized Fridge two days ago. I only have an air mattress for a bed.

    I’m just tired. I want this over with. I want things to go back to January when all I had to worry about was the fact I was recovering from a car wreck and couldn’t even help take down the Christmas trees and get a new car.

    • @[email protected]MEnglish
      1•1 month ago

      Update #3: September 21, 2025 (a bit over 1.5 months later)

      Update #3 AITAH for wanting nothing to do with my kids and ex-wife after 2 years of false allegations?

      So I didn’t think I would be back with any sort of update until December, but here I am.

      First, I want to thank everyone for their comments, the ones who tell me I’m NTA for feeling this way, the ones who said this was fake AI bull (which got me laughing a bit), and for all the advice everyone’s given me.

      Second, for the ones who DM’d me, I also want to say thank you for reaching out. I may not have answered, but I really appreciated reading the messages.

      After my last update, I tried looking for something to do on my days off of work. My first thought was the animal shelter nearby because it’s not even a five minute drive from my house. Turns out it’s closed on my days off.

      I looked around for neighboring counties and those were even less helpful. A lot of them required I attend some sort of orientation, but there’s no set day of the week for the orientations. I know it would be good for my mental health in the long run, but in the short term taking a day off from work, potentially, to attend the orientation and making my paycheck smaller isn’t helpful.

      So I decided to try dating. I wasn’t going into this looking for anything serious, I was wanting to try some casual dates to just get out of the house and meet people. That’s not what happened.

      I made a profile on a dating app and kinda just left it alone. One of the pictures I had put on there was of my cat. He’s an orange cat presenting as a tuxedo cat. No brain cell whatsoever. I got a message and this woman was talking about how cute my cat was and how he matched one of hers.

      We talked about our cats for a while, then things got flirty and I asked her out on a date. I feel like it went well, since she stuck around anyway. We found out that there are so many similarities between what we like and our senses of humor that my friends think I found a female version of myself, which I think is funny because when she meets them that means they’re screwed.

      After almost a month of us talking and going on the occasional date, I told her I had some things to tell her and then something to ask her. I was up front with everything that happened last year and this year, showing her the paperwork that I had to show that I was innocent in all of this. After telling her all of this, I asked if she still wanted to stick around or if she wanted to walk away and not get dragged into any drama that she could get put through just because of us having a relationship.

      She hugged me, cried for me (which got me to start crying), and told me that she was sorry I had to go through something like that. Once the two of us stopped trying to flood my house from crying (more myself than her), I asked her if she wanted to make things official between us and she said yes.

      I was honestly so scared to tell her about what happened with my kids and ex. I was dead certain that once I told any prospective girlfriend this, they would walk away so that their own lives wouldn’t get ruined. But she stayed, and I’m so incredibly grateful for that. We agreed to take it slow so that we don’t rush into anything too quickly.

      I can’t remember which of my posts it was on, and to be honest there’s too many comments on them all to be able to find them, but a redditor said that, essentially, they hope I find someone and can actually be happy after all of this drama with my ex-wife and kids. I want to thank them for saying that, because between them speaking it into existence and my cat being… well, him, it seems to have worked.

      I’m not back up to 100% though. I’m still scared that something else will happen that will somehow mess my life up even more. I’m scared of the cops showing up at my house with new allegations even though I haven’t done anything. I’m scared of running into my ex or the kids in public just by going grocery shopping and somehow getting arrested over it. Every time I drive home and a sheriff, state police, or city police vehicle comes down towards me or drives by the house I can feel my anxiety spike.

      I have cameras up that record my front door, back door, and where I park my car outside my house and cameras inside that cover my front door and my back door. I have other means of showing my location on my phone and where I’ve travelled, if I’ve travelled at all that day. I keep any receipts from shopping or even grabbing something to eat while in town just so I have timestamps of where I’ve been and when I was there.

      It’s a mess, but I’m doing what I can. I’m looking forward to learning more about my girlfriend that my dingus of a cat helped me meet. I’m looking forward to being able to not live in fear of police. I’m looking forward to being able to LIVE and not just not die right now.

      Again, I want to thank everyone for their thoughts, advice, comments, everything. I’m still gathering paperwork and what evidence I can about all of this, and sadly I still don’t have answers about why this has been happening. I don’t know how my son got this supposed concussion. I don’t know if my ex is coaching them. I don’t know if someone is in their lives because of my ex that is causing all of this. I don’t know if I’ll get those answers, but right now I’m going to keep searching and fighting for myself until I either can’t find anything else or I get answers.

      • @[email protected]MEnglish
        1•1 month ago

        ----NEW UPDATES---- Editor’s note: the next update is nearly three months old, and it has not been posted onto the sub here

        Update #4: October 2, 2025 (11 days later from the previous update)

        Seriously, what the fuck NOW?!

        So things have gotten even more messed up, although on a technicality I guess it’s not on my end.

        On Tuesday, my Saturday, I get woken up by my mom knocking on my door. After I let her in, the first thing she says is “I have something to tell you, but don’t freak out.”

        I’m on medication for anxiety that I have to take twice a day at minimum. I had just woken up so I didn’t take my medication yet. Can you guess what I started doing?

        She then tells me that my ex and the kids got kicked out of the house that they were living in that belongs to my ex friend and his wife. My mom told me she found this out from my stepdad because my ex stays in contact with him pretty regularly but has my mom blocked on everything possible. Mom had already filed a CPS report on her because, at the time, we believed my ex and the kids were living in her car.

        My ex has no income other than occasionally delivering groceries for Walmart and the child support the state deducts from my paycheck. She had no place in line to move in to, as far as we knew, so I started freaking out and called my sister. My sister still talks with my ex but won’t talk to our mom for completely unrelated reasons. I asked my sister if she knew what happened, if she knew where my kids were, and to tell me where they were so I can make sure they were safe.

        My sister DID already know but didn’t tell me, but she did assure me that they were in a house and that she had a video call with the kids and screen shots to prove that they were in a house and safe. Luckily this helped calm me down a bit.

        Later, I called the child support office and ask them if the address for my ex was still the previous address and informed them that she had gotten kicked out, but that I didn’t have the new address to give them. The case worker told me that the address had not been updated but to reach out if I found out the address, just in case she didn’t contact them with the updated address.

        At this point I’ve done all I can do, legally anyway, so I try to relax and chill out because I know that I’m just stuck playing the waiting game again. Then the mail ran.

        I got the papers from my sons ER visit back in June. It doesn’t say anything about a concussion, just that he had a contusion on his head and to treat it with an ice pack and ibuprofen. He had a goddamned bruise that could have come from ANYTHING. I love my son, but he’s so clumsy it’s ridiculous. He once walked face first into a tree because he wasn’t wearing his glasses or watching where he was going at a playground that we had gone to.

        I ended up getting myself out of the house and went out of town for a while just driving around. I ended up at the river that separates my state from the next one and sitting in a park while watching the boats and barges go by, listening to the music playing in the park and the water. I talked to my girlfriend while I was there and ended up having a borderline emotional breakdown wondering what I could have done to make them all hate me that much to try and get me in prison for things I never did.

        I have an appointment with my therapist on Tuesday so she’s going to learn all the new and exciting things happening in my life /S. My girlfriend ended up coming over and staying the night to keep me company and support me through dealing with all of this new information. I have no idea how I’m going to repay her for being so kind and understanding and supportive. She keeps dismissing whenever I say thank you because she says that she’s just listening and being a human and knows that I have proof that I didn’t do anything that they’ve been accusing me of.

        I’m feeling so much right now I can’t make heads or tails of it. I talked to my boss and took an extra day off to help myself process this and he’s going to use some of my PTO to cover for me. I’m not going to do it, but damn do I want a drink.

        Relevant Comments

        Commenter 1: Godamn man, if somebody did all the stuff your ex did to me, my sister would murder them no questions asked… why is she still speaking to that woman???..why didn’t she inform you what was happening???

        Who needs enemies when you have siblings like this?

        OOP: At this point I’m glad she’s still talking to my ex. If she wasn’t I’d have no clue if my kids were safe or not. As for not telling me, I have no idea.

        Commenter 1: Do you have a good relationship with her?

        Like I can’t imagine a sibling seeing what your going through and still being good with the person that did that to you……

        I can understand staying contact for the kids sake but to never ask why? Why she is doing all of this… why she is going so much further than just a regular divorce.

        And the fact she didn’t inform you about this or anything thing else she may have talked about with your ex just seems like such a betrayal to me.

        I wouldn’t trust her at the moment unless she can give you a good explanation for her behaviour

        OOP: Eh, not as close as most siblings. Both of us are pretty independent. She lives over an hour away from me so it’s hard to keep a relationship like that strong when I have to make reasons other than seeing her to go that far.

        Commenter 2: I am so glad your kids are safe. I am so glad you have support. I am so glad you are still with us.

        If you need support in not drinking, in my experience, most AA members are willing to hook you up with a support person, even if you’re not officially joining, even if you don’t think it’s permanent. Some people just need a break from alcohol for awhile, and they get that, & they’re happy to support you in that.

        I hope you keep finding the support you need. Best wishes.

        OOP: Honestly, even when I do drink I don’t drink a lot. The most I do is maybe a glass of bourbon (2 fingers at most), or maybe 2 beers. I’ve actually been trying non-alcoholic options and they’re pretty good. My favorite so far is Guinness.

        Commenter 3: Don’t listen to op everyone he’s rage baiting you since he flip flops back and forth saying that he loves his kids when he wanted nothing to do with them.

        OOP: So let me get this straight. Because I want to NOT risk going to jail and prison due to lies made by my kids about me, I can’t be concerned about finding out they’re homeless and living in a car???

        • @[email protected]MEnglish
          1•1 month ago

          Editor’s note: OOP’s final update’s body text was saved before it got removed

          Final Update: December 25, 2025 (a bit over 2.5 months later)

          So here’s the update from the last few months of my life.

          Shit’s fucked.

          Back in October, my girlfriend ghosted me, sending me a message while I was at work and away from my phone saying she “had some things she needed to think about” and she “can only do it on her own.” Didn’t hear from her for a couple weeks before she messaged me again saying she didn’t blame me if I didn’t want to talk to her and she admitted she stopped taking her anxiety/depression meds cold turkey and it messed with her head. There was no fighting or anything that would have let me get an idea of this happening so it really came out of left field, which is the story of my life right now, I guess.

          So now it’s just me and the cat again. I go to work, I go home, I run errands and appointments on my days off. It’s dramatic, I know, but I’m surviving but I wouldn’t call this living.

          After court at the beginning of this month it was decided to extend the EPO for another month so that my ex will have time to have me served with divorce papers and then it will expire on it’s own in January. It was this and take supervised visitation with the kids, extend the EPO for another 6 months, or let the EPO expire and have it turned into a DVO. That would have ended with me losing my job and having an insane amount of difficulty finding a new one to keep paying child support and my rent, and if I didn’t I’d be evicted and end up arrested for not making child support payments. Those were the options her “legal aide/attorney” whatever he is gave us. He didn’t say anything about the rent or being arrested but I know that is what would have happened in the long term.

          I have supervised visitation with my daughter at my grandparent’s house at my kids discretion, so I may see them once a week or I may not, who knows. I was told she wanted to make contact but my son didn’t. I have a body camera that I used when I attempted to have visitation with my daughter a few days ago, but she changed her mind and didn’t want to see me so I left. I didn’t want to take a risk of anyone claiming I violated the EPO. I’ve made copies of the video and have multiple flash drives hidden around my house with them so that I have backups.

          I’m tired. I’m tired of everything. I want this to end and for life to go back to normal.

          A friend of mine actually asked me if I ever got into a relationship with someone if I would want to have kids again and I almost had a panic attack over the thought. It’s weird some days. I can tell when the depression is affecting me worse and it’s just the depression talking and I can kind of ignore it. Other days it just feels like my own thoughts and I’m just sitting on the couch trying to get the will to get up and make a sandwich or take a shower.

          So no grand miracle solution, no fanfare or anything. Just a guy sitting at home or at work trying to get through the day. I’m not going to post anymore updates about this, because it’s almost over with and I just want to get on with my life.

          DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

          THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP